Today I came to grips with a conflict I had not previously recognized. The more I try to live a life of faith with integrity, the more I encounter this sort of thing. The wisdom of the world is often in direct or indirect conflict with the teachings of Christ, and I don’t always see that conflict before I act. Sometimes my habits kick in before my commitment to be a blessing gets a word in. It happened yesterday, and the crucial habit was formed and honed twenty or more years ago. My reason for bringing it up is to ask how I participate in something that truly is business process improvement while maintaining my Christian commitment to speak a blessing and be a blessing in my business transactions.

 Worldly wisdom, and excellent business leaders, taught me long ago that every business is above all in the business of customer service. I learned it as an employee, and I expect it as a customer. When it doesn’t happen, I feel compelled to speak up and ask for change. That, too, was part of my business training. From the time I absorbed this truth as an employee right up to the present day, I have considered it my obligation to compliment businesses with excellent customer service and to help the others improve.

 I ran into just such a situation yesterday. I had set up my credit card account online to be paid from a checking account at my direction. Because of my lifestyle with only intermittent internet access, I need to make the most of that access when I have it. I considered that the job of setup for paying that account saved me all kinds of time when I needed to pay the bill. It worked beautifully for more than a year.

 All that changed, unbeknownst to me, when I opened a new checking account at the bank that had issued my credit card. Without asking me, or even notifying me, the bank invalidated my setup for payment and left me no option online except to take the payment from my new checking account. Unbeknownst to them, because they did not ask, I had designated the new checking account for a different purpose, and I did not expect to deposit the money for my credit card in that account. I expected, planned and purposed to use the money in the original checking account.

 I contacted customer service, expecting an apology and the immediate restoration of the plan that had already worked so well for me. My expectations were as fruitless as those of the famous Miss Haversham. The options they offered me were all tedious, time-consuming, inconvenient, and as far as I was concerned, unnecessary. My personal commitment to teaching businesses about customer service kicked in, and I expressed myself about this situation. I believe that I used the words “arrogant,” “presumptuous,” “poor customer service,” and “completely uncalled for.” It only got worse. The support representative told me that I had to call some other number in order to register my complaint, and no, I could not speak to her supervisor.

 Eventually the conversation ended, and I did thank the representative for doing what she could, which was nothing. I normally try to end all my business conversations with the words, “God bless you,” because I want to salt my conversations with faith speech. I think it is part of the work Christ has called each of us to do. However, I didn’t feel very faithful at that point. I knew that I had not been a blessing to the support representative, and I had complained bitterly about her and her employer. Still, I also felt that nothing would ever change if every customer simply accepted such things without comment. The behavior of the bank made me angry, so angry that I was actually sick at my stomach. Yet it was completely true that the person I was talking to could not change anything. I spoke and acted on the principle that if I complained long enough and assertively enough, she would surely tell the story over and over and maybe somebody who could do something about the broken processes would take action.

 Still, I worry about the fact that I did not bless the support representative by either my behavior or my words. I tried not to be rude, but I was aggressive and assertive, in the hope of actually getting to talk with someone who had power. It didn’t happen. What should I have done differently?

 At this moment, I don’t know. I do believe that there is something I need to change in myself for this kind of situation. I do believe that I should be a blessing to people I meet. Yet I found myself propelled by my profound indignation at the way the bank was treating me. I know very well that any other customer would be treated the same way, and I think it is bad business, because it will make customers hate the bank. Because I learned the responses in the world of business, I responded in a secular, completely business kind of way. I think there must be a solution that is Christlike, even as it advocates for better customer service to all customers.

 Is it because at the root, I was in it completely for me? Was I simply outraged personally to a degree that I lost touch with the Spirit within and started worshiping Self instead? What was the real problem here? I do think that customers must speak up when business processes are broken, but I feel that as a follower of Christ I must be mindful of the individual with whom I am speaking. She might have agreed with me that the bank was out of order, but she could hardly say so.

 I am making this a matter of prayer, but I would also like to hear the insights of others. There has to be a better way to advocate for good customer service while blessing the person with whom I am working. Can anybody help me?

If you saw someone shoot and kill your neighbor, you could help the police with your eyewitness report, and you could testify at the trial of the murderer. Your testimony might even help to put a murder behind bars. Sadly, nothing you could do in that process would ever bring your neighbor back to life.

 What if your testimony could bring someone to life? Would you do it?

 Every follower of Christ has a testimony that can help someone find new life in Christ. Every one of us can be witnesses to what Christ has done for us, and when we do that, we share words and deeds that may be used by the Holy Spirit to transform someone’s heart. We don’t need a degree in theology, nor do we need to be ordained to give this testimony. In fact, we don’t even need to have memorized somebody else’s testimony. We simply need to be honest and open about our relationship with Christ.

 I think we make it too hard, because we really do think we don’t know enough. I also think we fear the repercussion if someone rejects the message. These are two different problems, and we need to get over them.

 First, we do know enough. One of the easiest ways to be open about our relationship with Christ is to invite someone to church. To do that clearly testifies that Christ is part of our lives, and to invite someone to go with us ought to be as normal as to invite them to go with us to a football game or an art exhibition. We invite our friends to join us in activities we enjoy. There are many other ways to share God’s love, too. If we let God lead us, it can be as natural as talking about new babies and family reunions.

 Second, there could be repercussions, but you might be surprised how infrequently people get angry about it. I have invited people who didn’t go to church with me. I have said, “God loves you,” to people who replied that they don’t believe in God. I have never had anyone attack me, although one man did say “I guess being Lutheran is the next best thing to being a Christian.” I have never had anyone shout at me so far.

 Maybe the biggest hurdle for some people is the idea that there is a special “authorized” way to testify to our faith. There isn’t. If you doubt me, read how Jesus talked to people. He started where they were. For the woman at the well, he simply asked for a drink of water. For Zaccheus, he invited himself to dinner. When a lawyer tried to entrap him in a semantic argument, he told a story. I think our best testimony is offered when we simply speak of our faith as naturally as we speak of our children or our work. We don’t need to stress over it; we simply need to let it out.

 It is important to think about why we don’t testify more often, because it is even more important to remember why we do testify. We testify, because faithful testimony for Christ pushes back evil. We testify, because the only hope for a world full of people with broken hearts is the grace, forgiveness and transforming power of the Holy Spirit. We may not see the fruit of our testimony in many people’s lives, but we leave that work to the Holy Spirit.

 The next time you speak with someone and feel a nudge that says, “This person needs the Lord,” don’t ignore that nudge. Pay attention. Watch for the right moment to say, “Would you like to come to church with me this Sunday?” or simply say, “God loves you.” Follow the Holy Spirit’s leadership. Our world needs a lot more faith speech spread around. Jesus said that we are to be the light of the world. Some of us appear to be saving our lights for a darker night. It’s dark enough already. Let your light shine.

When I was a little girl, I vividly remember the annual stewardship drives conducted by the various churches where we were members. These programs began with a presentation of an ambitious budget for the church, and then focused on ways for members to calculate the correct amount to give to support that budget. Children like me often received little “piggy” banks shaped like churches where we could put money away for Sunday morning. I don’t know about the other kids, but I rarely had anything to put in that bank. I received my nickel for the offering every Sunday morning tied up in the corner of a handkerchief, which I proudly stuffed into my red patent leather “going to church” purse. I felt completely disconnected from all the excitement as the pledges were counted, but I really liked the annual banquet where we ate baked ham and green beans and scalloped potatoes. I grew up with the impression that when a church used the word “stewardship” it was code language for “be sure you give at least a tithe to the church.” I attended church training every Sunday evening, and that is where they taught us how to calculate the tithe. It was a lot like the IRS code – monumental, demanding, and impossible to do right. We all felt doomed, and we mostly went around apologizing inside, if not aloud, for failing to give God his tithe. We felt guilty, because even though a tithe was a tenth (there was no dispute about that), we were never quite sure what it was a tenth of. Gross income? Gifts? Change found in the couch cushions? In retrospect, as I recall those training sessions, I am always reminded of the Pharisees. Jesus said that they were so good at tithing that they even tithed the herbs in their gardens. Yet they were so good at religious money management that they found ways to avoid helping their aging parents and they could walk right by an assault victim on the highway because helping him would make them late for worship. Jesus was not impressed by anyone’s ability to calculate a tithe. That little formula is about counting money. Jesus wanted people to live in a relationship with him that required a complete commitment of their lives, not a bag of money that was exactly, not one penny less than and not one penny more than, a tithe. Jesus taught that stewardship is not about money, but rather, about the heart. When a rich man came to him hoping to be praised for his obedience to the law, including the tithe, Jesus ignored all that legal compliance and asked him to forget the money and give God his life. The man could not do it. Jesus told a story about a rich man who gave his stewards different amounts of money to use in his name. When he came back, he didn’t condemn the man with one talent for not making it into ten talents; he condemned him for not realizing that the talent was in his possession, not to hoard, but rather to use in service to the man who owned it. Here is the real meaning of stewardship. Stewardship is our recognition that we own nothing and God owns everything. Every crumb of food we eat, every sunrise we enjoy, every penny we earn, every blanket that keeps us warm in winter – everything is God’s gift to us, and we ought to use it gratefully in his service. We owe God our gratitude for everything, and we need to remember to use everything the way God does. We don’t need to pinch pennies or develop complicated formulas for tithing. We must simply be grateful to God for all that we receive, and put our faith in him. We need to get over the fear that if we give something away, we will be poor. Oh, how I hate the word “ought.” That is the word used freely by people who want to impose an obligation on others. They tell us we “ought” to tithe, and they tell us we “ought” to give over and above. The problem is that tithing and giving and serving and financing the kingdom are not at all things we “ought” to undertake, like it or not. Rather, if there is anything we “ought” to do, we “ought” to pray to grow in our relationship into a maturity that will guide our use of all the blessings, material or otherwise, that we receive from the Lord. Do you remember how it felt the first time you began to grasp what Christ had done for you? Do you remember when that load of guilt that built such a wall between you and God was lifted as if it had never existed at all? Did you not want to shout your thanks and share with everyone this wonderful experience? What shut you down? Our salvation is the greatest blessing any of us ever receives from the Lord, and we give thanks for it privately, but what keeps us from tithing that blessing? Why can’t we share the blessing of salvation with other people? It is the same thing that makes it hard for us to share our money, our food, and our time. We think we need everything we have. We think that when we let go of anything, it is gone, and we do without. We see that we could use even more than we possess. We don’t think of using everything we possess in ways that express our gratitude to God for his provision. This is the secret. When we acknowledge that everything we have belongs to God, then those tough calculations are out the window. We can’t possibly figure out how much we “owe” God if all of it belongs to him. Everything changes when we accept that we are stewards of God’s gifts. If God gives me the use of his great gifts, then all I need to do is figure out what use of those gifts shows God my great gratitude. When I accept that I am the steward of all these gifts, not the owner, then it is a lot easier to pass the gifts I receive to others in need. The tithe in the Bible is a lesson and a model for us as stewards of gifts that do not belong to us. Stewardship is not compliance with some law that requires us to give God a tenth. Stewardship is the act of love that says “thank you” to God by using his provision for our families and sharing those gifts in gratitude for the way God provides for everything. When we live in a servant relationship with the God who loves us, our giving is not like paying off the IRS. It is more like a ticket to fulltime happiness.

In the book The Shack, the author explores a question many of us ask when we realize that we are expected to forgive people. The central character, Mack, is consumed with grief over the abduction and death of his daughter, Missy. Confronted with the suggestion that he ought to forgive the person who harmed his daughter, he asks, “Is it fair to Missy if I don’t stay angry with him?” We humans think we want everything to be fair. In fact, that is not what we want at all.

Mack, for example, suffers not only from guilt due to his perception that he failed Missy, but he also suffers from guilt due to his fear that her abduction might be God’s judgment or punishment for a terrible sin from his childhood. He certainly wants to be fair to Missy, but if cosmic fairness means that Missy pays for his wrong-doing, he isn’t so sure that “fairness” is what he wants. Likewise, forgetting the past, Mack looks forward to the possibility that the perpetrator of this horrible crime might actually be caught, and then he wonders if forgiving that person means he shouldn’t want him to pay for his crime. would that be fair? 

Most of us are conflicted over the whole idea of forgiveness. We like being forgiven by others, but we are less eager to grant forgiveness, because deep inside we are pretty sure the person we resent does not deserve forgiveness. To forgive would be an affront to our sense of honor and justice. It is completely human to believe that other people deserve punishment while we ourselves deserve mercy.

There is a different way to look at the situation. When Jesus was with his disciples, he told them, “If you forgive the sins of any, they are forgiven them; if you retain the sins of any, they are retained.” [John 20:23]  Some people interpret this statement as if it meant the inadequacy of the death of Jesus on the cross. Some wonder if we humans can keep God from forgiving other people. We should not assume such a preposterous notion. This statement, coming from the One who told his disciples that they must forgive people, no matter how many times people sin against them, can hardly be understood to give them a license to reject forgiveness and condemn those bad people.

What really happens when one person refuses forgiveness to another? The Hatfields and the McCoys give us a comic example of a horrific reality: unforgiveness destroys the one who does not forgive. Jesus told his disciples the deep and frightening truth that if they chose not to forgive, unforgiveness would dwell within them. Shakespeare gave us a dramatic picture of the consequences of unforgiveness as he showed us how a family feud that would not die doomed a young and beautiful couple. The Balkan peninsula has become the image historians perennially call upon to show what happens when nations try to take vengeance for offenses hundreds of years in the past. The movement of some black people in the US to demand reparations for slavery, which has not existed in this country for more than a hundred years, is the expression of an unwillingness to forgive a wrong that is over and done with. Unforgiveness creates victims, and victims give birth to a communal malaise that destroys its victims for generations.

When Jesus taught us how to pray, he also was teaching us how to live. In the most important prayer we will ever learn, Jesus taught us to say, “Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us.” This important petition embodies a cry for the healing of all people. We ask that our guilt for wrongs we have done be washed away and that the wounds we have received at the hands of others be healed. When we both request and grant forgiveness, we are engaged in what Martin Luther described as the daily drowning of our sins in the waters of baptism. All humanity is forgiven and broken relationships are healed as we pray this prayer.

Forgiveness is not a way to let wrong-doers “get by” with evil. If someone murders my daughter, and I forgive the murderer, my forgiveness does not excuse that person from paying the price of such a crime. The murderer does not “get by” with murder when I forgive him or her. However, we are both set free of the poison of that evil act when I grant and the murderer receives forgiveness. I will not spend endless days seething in anger and grief. I won’t shut myself down and deny all God’s goodness because of this crime. When I forgive the murderer, I make myself available to the healing and redemptive power of the Holy Spirit. What’s more, my forgiveness granted to the perpetrator of a horrible crime also crashes through one more barrier to the work of the Holy Spirit in that person’s life. If I refuse to forgive, the unforgiveness in my heart may well lead to two lives in a prison of the heart, a much more secure prison than any operated by the federal government.

Forgiveness is often seen as a hard task demanded by a cruel God. If we read the Bible prayerfully, we will soon come to realize that forgiveness is a beautiful gift to everyone from a loving God. It is more than fair; it is a blessing.